On the indside....

So today is the 2nd day of going Primal. I think it has been slightly easier than yesterday... It amazes me at how long I feel full for... but I am still dreaming about pasta... I wont lie.. I have been doing a lot of research about the Primal life and the health benefits of it... it amazes me... the government are jerks... 

On a separate note.. I realized something interesting. My whole life I have been told "you are beautiful on the inside", which don't get me wrong.. is a fantastic thing to hear and makes me feel great... but I truly think it is a fat kid slogan. That being said, I really am proud that I try to be a good person and that I try and do the right thing and show Gods love...however I just want to FEEL beautiful on the outside. No I don't think I am ugly. I never have. But I have always had a huge insecurity about my weight and I am really excited for that to lower. To be able to look in the mirror and think DANG I LOOK GOOD!!!!  not... eh... I look okay but this shirt could fit a lot better...

I haven't met back up with the "hill of doom" yet... things came up today... but I think I am fixated on that hill in a metaphorical way more than even a physical... I truly feel like I have an uphill journey ahead of me... No matter how many times I am promised that once you get the hang of primal it will be easy... Loosing weight has never been easy for me... It seems unreal... I guess seeing will be believing for me....I guess I never realized how many emotional ties I had to my weight and deep seeded self doubt...

I really need to thank James and Rachel. Without their support I never would feel like I can do this whole primal thing. They are truly amazing people and I am way blessed to know them and to be able to get my Grok on with them!!! Plus they have AMAZING recipes ;) I don't feel like the friends that I have explained primal to get it. Like last night I went out to play some pool with a friend, and where I would normally drink a beer or two, I wasn't drinking because beer is basically pure carbs, which I don't really intake. She didn't seem to understand why one beer mattered and why I would do such a "strict diet"... But I cant blame my friends, It is like nothing that we are taught our whole lives. We grow up learning the food pyramid which has now turned into the "my plate" thing which focuses on grains and carbohydrates, and I am going against all of those things with Primal...but hey, we are taught about Santa Clause too right?

Okay gonna close with todays menu:

I didnt really eat breakfast... I woke up late so I had kinda an early lunch. 

Lunch was a chicken breast and wing with lima beans (eek way more carb filled than I thought orrigionally but they were all I had in the frozen veggie land) and a hard boiled egg.

I had 2 baby bell cheese things as a snack which I discovered were CARB FREE, super exciting and am seriously thinking about standing up and getting a handful of almonds.

For dinner I plan on making a big old salad and putting some chicken and hard boiled egg and avocado in it. I hope to make blue cheese dressing from scratch today, but I didn't end up making it to Henry today for the blue cheese.